I have been a musician since 8th grade. I learned to play guitar at school in band and by watching a lot Don Kirchner’s Rock Concert and Midnight Special TV shows. I watched every move they made and wore out a chord book on various chord positions and inversions. Every waking hour I was trying to learn more about becoming a really good musician. I practiced and got really good at playing rhythm. Although I never got into trouble, no drugs or alcohol, I still felt empty inside. Playing music helped, but it wasn’t enough. My parents had been divorced from my stepfather for about a year at this point and that had been tough enough but I already knew lots of other kids who were in the same boat but for me it took a dark turn when I got into middle school. I started having thoughts of suicide, which was odd because somewhere inside I knew that things were not hopeless nor as bad as it seemed. Still the thoughts persisted. 

One day out of the blue, my mother whom I was living with at the time, came home and started telling me that we were going to go to church. I had no say in the matter and went begrudgingly with her. I sat in the back with other kids that didn’t seem like they wanted to be there either but we were all respectful and didn’t distract from the service. This was in the 70’s so even though we were pre-teen and teenagers we all knew better than to cause a ruckus in church. My only memory of church up to this moment was of Vacation Bible School where the bus picked up neighborhood kids and carted us to VBS for a couple of hours. I learned absolutely nothing while I was there except that God had provided copius amounts of dry macaroni for art projects. After church we went home and she proceeded to restrict some TV shows that I would normally watch. Night Stalker was one in particular that she nixed. She monitored what library books I could read and just did the typical things parents do to keep their kids safe and provide guidance. Unfortunately, I was becoming a teenager and this did not set well with me, especially since I had given her no reason to be concerned. I obviously did not discuss my thoughts of suicide since she had enough on her plate emotionally. 

My mother dragged me to every church service any where and everywhere. I had absolutely no interest in God since I didn’t beleive He had any interest in me. If He did my parents would still be together and, at least in my mind, life would be different. I never discussed this with my mother because all she talked about was God. God this, Jesus that and I thought to myself, ‘This is great! My mom has gone bonkers. Get the straight jacket and the rubber room ready because they will coming any day to take her to the funny farm.’ I was not sure what to do. I did my best to avoid her but that’s hard to do in an apartment. I dutifully went to every Sunday and Wednesday church service she wanted to go to. I didn’t put up a fuss because I just wanted to keep an eye on her so she didn’t get hurt. Hurt from what I didn’t know, but I was on alert anyway. As far as I was concerned she went Looney Tunes and I was the only one around to look after her. 

My mother finally settled on a church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida  where we were living at the time, and we went there regularly. The church was several hundred or more strong. They had a youth group and a youth choir and since I had no choice but to be there I thought I might as well make the best of it and I went to the youth group. It wasn’t a large group, about 20 or so teens and only a few really didn’t want to be there. I found this to be intriguing. There were kids in the group that genuinely wanted to be there! So that inspired me to ask questions and I actually listened. It was definitely the Holy Spirit that got me to put aside my feeling sorry for myself that my mom was a Jesus looney. Over the next few months I began to understand who Jesus was and why He allowed Himself to be crucified for our (my) sins. I finally understood what sin was and why I needed a Savior. The kids would get together on their own to pray for each other and I saw that they genuinely loved Jesus. One Sunday there was an altar called and I went down to receive Jesus as my Savior. It was not earth shattering or emotional. I came away with a sense that I was finally on the right path and that I had a purpose.

I would later find out that when you find God and take Jesus as your Saviour your all fire and no wisdom. You are just excited that a whole new world of possibilities have just opened up to you and you want everyone to know. It’s not a bad thing but when you ‘Get Saved’ you really have no idea how to explain what happens and what it means to be a christian and follow God.  This was good news to me because I knew that my mother was’t nuts! Yay!  My life began to take a different turn from that point on.